Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Dating or courtship

Remember, this is just my opinion, but I believe in courting over dating. There is nothing wrong with desiring the opposite sex, God created us to be this way and it is a beautiful and wonderful gift when used in the way God intended. So, how did God intend us to use these feelings? The bible does not give us any information on dating, but it does give us insight to marriage when it says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 19:5. And in Ephesians 5:3 "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."
So, what is dating anyway?

Dating is when two people go out together either alone or with others with no immediate intent of marriage. After they have gone out together a few times, the relationship seems to naturally move to the next "phase in the relationship" and you may want to kiss or other stuff. It is this part when you feel pressure and there is usually nobody there to help you out, so you may go ahead and "kiss". Once you have done this the first time, it doesn't seem so bad, so you keep doing it or maybe even advancing to the "next level of the relationship". You feel fine, until you break up and then you feel terrible. So, how do you deal with your pain? You find all the negative things about that person, so you don't feel so bad about losing them. When the next person comes along, you have already sized up all the unappealing things about them before they have the chance to "dump" you, so it won't sting so bad. Also, it is easier to "move to the next level of the relationship" because you have already been there and done that. You have lost part of your innocence.

Once Mr. or Mrs. Right finally does come along, you are jaded and find all the unappealing things about them before the relationship really even starts. This can lead to fights and divorce. The beautiful gift that God intended marriage to be has now been beaten up to the point that you don't even recognize it as a gift. You don't look at your spouse with the same adoration you saw in your "first" love or have the same innocence you had back then, it is lost forever.

That is not to say that you can't have a good or great marriage if you chose to date, it just makes it more challenging.

God gives us commands to benefit us and himself. It may seem harsh and unrealistic to wait until you are married, but God will bless that obedience. It will save us heartache and save us from being disciplined.

So, what is courting?

Courting is when two people who are ready to get married see each other with family or a friend around to chaparone. Courting is when the man will go to the woman's house, and eat dinner with the family. This way your parents will get to know them and so will the man get to know your family, that way there's no nightmare in-laws. Also, you wont feel pressure to have to kiss that person if you don't want to. The girl's father protects her from being in an uncomfortable position because he will end it if the girl is not interested and protect her from unwanted contact.Courting is a good way to find that Mr./Mrs. right. Your heart wont get broken and you keep your body pure for your future spouse, the way God intended. That adoration you have for your first love will always be for your spouse and you won't look for the negative in him or try to keep your heart from getting broken, you will trust each other without fear.

Think about this, back in the 1900s and down people courted back then and you hardly ever heard of someone getting a divorce, but now you nearly hear it all the time about people getting a divorce.

Remember this was just my opinion on dating or courting. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this.

I would love to hear your opinions on the matter in a Christ like way.

1 comment: